How hard are you on yourself?
How much pressure do you put on yourself that is not necessary?
Recently I was in a situation where I was really struggling to allow someone in my life to do something nice for me. Instead of enjoying the fact that I have someone in my life who wants to treat me well and who wants to do things with me and for me, I started to feel very insecure and judgemental of myself.
Previously in my life I felt like I had to have all the answers. I felt like I always needed to be in control of me and of others around me. That I needed to be the one who did everything for everyone. If I didn't, I felt that I was not good enough, I would beat myself up about it. My self confidence was at an all time low. I felt like I was incompetent if I couldn't do something, or if someone wanted to do something for me. I thought if someone wanted to cook for me, or help me clean, or fix something that was broken in my apartment, or if they simply wanted to give me their ideas on things that I was working on in my life then that meant they thought I wasn't capable of doing it myself, that I wasn't good enough or that I was failing and I needed help.
What we don't realise is that is our ego taking control of us. Living our life through fear. Fear of not being good enough.
When we choose to live through love then we experience something completely different. We stop viewing the situation from a selfish perspective. Sharing something with a loved one is a joint experience. Its not just about how we feel.
Being able to share experiences and letting someone care for us is what creates happiness and allows us to feel grateful. We are connecting with others through soul and spirit. Trying to control the experience only feeds our ego and our fear, leaving us feeling empty, questioning our self worth and where we fit it.
If someone wants to help you fix something, or cook you a meal, or help clean, or simply be there to listen to your problems, then let them. It shows them that they are valued in your life. That they mean something to you. It makes them feel loved by being able to show you love and care that you receive openly.