Have you ever sat down, thought about it and been really honest with the fears that are holding you back in your life?
I did, and it was so scary and confronting. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing every single part of me. Nothing was hidden. My fears brought out all parts of my identity that I haven’t ever wanted to see before.
I sat down and wrote down all my fears, every fear that was stopping me from the life I wanted. I made sure I was brutally honest with myself. It was a strange feeling writing them down and then seeing them exist outside of my head. What was the strangest was that once I looked at them and read them, they didn’t seem so bad and ugly anymore. They seemed so much bigger and scarier when they were in my head, where I gave them so much power and importance.
It’s funny how much bigger we can make things in our head. We feed our fears with our insecurities and our negative thoughts until they paralyse us. We constantly think that these fears we have are influenced by outside sources, when in reality its ourselves that feed our fears and let them grow. We are the ones that give them life.
Once I wrote out my fears, I went through each one and tried to think of the worst thing that could happen if it came true. It looked something like this- “if I try to be a life coach and I fail, then what will I do or become, who will I be?” – The fear of failure!! You see, I studied health and life coaching, and it’s much easier to say, “I’m studying to be a life coach” then it is to say, “I am a life coach”. If I tried to work as a life coach and I didn’t end up getting any clients or I didn’t enjoy it, then I’m not a life coach. So, my fear would kick in and would tell me things like “Well, if you’re not a life coach, then what will you do? Work in a café forever? Spend another 2 years studying something else only to fail again?” And the not knowing would scare the hell out of me. Until I realised how freeing it would be to actually try and find out what was the worst that could happen. It doesn’t work out? That’s great! That means that I put myself out there, I tried, and I learnt valuable lessons. Now I can try something new and be one step closer to finding my passion.
See how changing your point of view on things can change the outcome and your happiness? After I did this with each one of my fears, I looked back down at my notebook and realised I had no more fears. All I had was a list of challenges and opportunities that I couldn’t wait to tackle.
Working with a life coach gives us the chance to see our fears for what they are – challenges and opportunities. They are not a final. They are not a constant in our lives. They are temporary.